1 year ago
RG from the amazing @joecaslin :
I C O U L D N ‘ T S A Y N O
on 25 Lennox Street, Portobello, Dublin 8.
Joe & I had some conversations about the text of his brilliant pieces & how to address the complexities of consent. He’s so fantastic & thoughtful & really wanted to open up a nuanced conversation around consent, & I was honored to talk to him about it.
Here’s the type of chats we had on WhatsApp:
Roe: “I just think the conversation sparked by “I couldn’t say no” would potentially be more nuanced, in addressing women’s fear, coercion, power dynamics, etc. Even if you think of cases like Harvey Weinstein for example, there’s a fear of explicitly saying “No” to such a powerful man, so women who managed to escape the situation had to make soft excuses, right, stay polite, etc. So the idea of not being able to say no covers that.”
Joe: “However, is there a reading of that sentence that means yes. A double negative! I know that is pedantic but I am playing devils advocate on it for a min.”
Roe: “Absolutely, but isn’t that also what new ideas of enthusiastic consent are trying to tackle - we’ve internalized the idea that not being able to say no means yes, & have normalized that idea through common language. But enthusiastic consent says that not being able to say no *absolutely does not mean* yes - only an ongoing, enthusiastic yes does. So it could be highlighting our current inability to understand that not saying no does not mean yes.
Women are socialized to be polite, but we’re also fearful of saying no to men - because often if we reject men clearly they can get aggressive. It’s why women often say “I have a boyfriend” rather than just “no”, because we need an excuse to say no, & because men will respect a man’s “ownership” (ugh) of another woman over our own rejection of them. So women not being able to say no - & men assuming that means yes - is a huge issue in rape culture. So I just think highlighting that could be really powerful?” .
#consent #sexuality #art #rapeculture #activism #metoo #mural #Dublin #DublinCity #Ireland #streetart #joecaslin #isaidno #icouldntsayno