It's so easy to feel shame when it comes to infertility and loss, we can fear judgement from society and feel that in some way we have failed. As I said in a previous post – getting pregnant isn’t a skill, it isn’t a talent that some people are better at than others, it’s simply the luck of the draw. YOU are not a failure, it isn’t your fault. You should not feel shame.
I remember feeling embarrassment for my body not doing what it should, for being young on the outside but old on the inside after discovering I had a rapidly ageing reproductive system at the age of 27. I detested the terms 'menopause' and 'infertility' which are constantly intertwined with equally disheartening words such as ‘failure’. No wonder we place such pressure and blame on ourselves. These feelings are why so many don't feel able to speak out, constrained by the stigmas and taboos brought about by misconceptions and lack of understanding, leading to us feeling desperately alone. 💛
It’s over time that I've felt more empowered by speaking out and sharing, which is when I started to view things differently. I found I wasn’t getting the looks of ‘pity’ that I expected and desperately wanted to avoid, but instead I was met with complete admiration and awe at the way in which we were trying to overcome this huge hurdle put in our way. It's these reactions that gave me confidence and made me think about our journey in a whole new way - turning shame on its head and instead replacing it with pride. 💛
Rather than being ashamed of the situation we found ourselves in, I'm so proud of everything we've been through together. The adversity and grief, how we faced our fears and overcame them, and ultimately how we grew stronger and more resilient because of it. I look at my girls now and feel no shame in telling people how they came to be - I'm fiercely proud of everything we went through to have them and hope that by speaking out with pride it will inspire them to feel the same. Through talking openly about these ‘taboo’ subjects and changing the narrative, we can help pave the way for future fertility warriors to feel less alone and more understood.
Continued in comments... - 25 minutes ago