“Someone said to me not long after my separation “it’s a hard pill to swallow knowing that you’ve failed at marriage” Looking back I can see that I placed being married above all else, so to fail at marriage meant I had failed at everything.
To not place value upon myself has been something I have been doing for as long as I can remember, I conditioned myself to accept less because I believed that was all I was worth... Less.
The biggest struggle for me has been learning to be alone with myself. I grew so tired of sitting in the uncomfortableness of disliking myself that I had no choice but to pick myself up, and heal. In order to not just like myself, but to love myself.
It’s been a wild ride of forgiving myself over and over and over, breaking and putting myself back together. Falling and getting back up, stepping way outside of my comfort zone and trusting myself.
At times I feel like a fraud, like right now. Putting words to my “journey” is really difficult, because it’s made me realise that I’m actually a lot further from where I want to be than I thought I was. But I’m human, I’m tired, I’m trying to raise two little ladies who love themselves always, while trying to find time to do the things I need to do to make that possible.
And while there’s still work to be done, and I’d be lying to say I’m happy with the way I look. I can look back on the person I once was and I feel compassion for her, I love her because she couldn’t love herself. I forgive her for treating herself like she wasn’t enough because without her I wouldn’t be who I am today.” Portrait by me. Real life mother pucking words by Melissa @i_am_melissa_ 🤜🤛 - 2 hours ago