Long-winded post about feeling low incoming...
It’s been a little while since I posted, and it’s partly because A&E is slowly breaking me. I feel like my brain is scattered all over. The shift patterns have put my body clock out of sync and it’s made me feel quite stressed and anxious. I’m such a creature of habit and routine so to go to bed at 2am and start work at 3pm is so confusing. And by the time I’m used to it at the end of a 4 day stretch, I’m then on a different shift pattern.
I’ve been stuck in a bit of a low period, despite having such a nice weekend just gone celebrating my boyfriend’s birthday. It’s made me think a lot recently about where I want my career to go. I think I’ve always known since my year out of medical school that I don’t want to pursue clinical practice in the traditional sense. I’ve yet to find a specialty or job role within the NHS that appeals to me and am beginning to explore other options similar to what I did previously.
I obviously won’t make any rash decisions about quitting medicine during a rotation I’m not that into, but I often find myself thinking about it when I’m at a low point, and when I start spiralling about career changes, I know that I’m not enjoying things. Perhaps it’s seeing some of my friends enjoying the freedom of an F3 year and wishing I was in that position. I am currently telling myself that there’s only three months left of this rotation before I move on, and I’ll be closer to the end of F2, and I can have my own F3, F4, or quit altogether. But for now, I am trying to keep going and push past this rubbish period I’m having. .
📷 Olafur Eliasson at Tate Modern
#mediclife #instadoc #doctorsofinstagram #frankdiscussion #openingup #lifeblog #mentalhealth #realitycheck #honestyhour - 16 hours ago