(A continuation) Upon arrival, its presence was as remarkable as ever, but forlorn to say the very least. Contrary to my childhood construct, the building was not a mansion home, but a former general store. The site is most significantly remembered for having fallen victim to Confederate ransacking following the Battle of Monocacy in 1864. This I learned while performing some preemptive research. It’s without a doubt an incredibly large structure - this had not been hyperbolized by my childhood mind - though standing before its roadside presence, all I could note was its appearance of total devastation. I saw some evidence of fire damage within, suggested by black crackling and smoke stains around a handful of windows. Shutters and downspouts hang awfully askew, and the porches have all fallen, leaving second story doorways that go to no where.
No point of entry is safe anymore (and it requires pretty extreme conditions to get me to say so), so I trudged about the structure’s perimeter, which is built peculiarly into a hillside. On the back of the building there is nice privacy and shielding from the traffic on the road, and I stationed myself here for a few calm moments, noticing the sag and slump of the long, exterior back wall. I peered into what open windows and doorways made themselves available to me. The interior is stark, left without any semblance of former hubbub or activity (except for some graffiti, evident of more modern delinquent visitors).
Sitting in the building’s quiet company, I mulled the past it had experienced, and reveled in the sense of compassion and understanding I felt in its presence. Oneness. All this time it has waited to be known to me, and I to it, and there was never once a pressure to haste. No drive to control the outcome. It all was left to fate. Trust, and fate. And it all worked out, effortlessly. Why not is anything else the same? Or could it be, but I’m fighting it?
I felt deeply. Thankful, in my bittersweet feelings, that for once it felt that everything had worked out. The building is to go on by itself, and I by myself, with the thought of having known each other being all and enough to hold us together, however feebly. - 54 minutes ago