I, like most millennials, have had my life turned completely upside down by the release of Victorious on Netflix. So much so in fact, that I deemed it necessary not once, not twice, but on 3 separate occasions this week to skip class to watch more episodes. After spending such copious amounts of time being sucked into the world of Hollywood Arts, I deemed it my responsibility, nay, my DUTY to create a method in which we can calculate the worth of each character in the show.
After intensive data collection, I am ready to publish my findings. With all that being said, I now humbly present to you the “100% accurate ‘Victorious’ Tier List”: Trina: Without a doubt the best character in the show. The pioneer of the one woman show, the queen of “Shecago”, and THE pop culture icon of our generation. She is the last thing I think about before I go to bed, the first thing I think about every morning, and we are all lucky to be breathing the same air as her.
Jade: I aspire to achieve the level of cuntiness. Her shitting on Tori is one of the best parts (because Tori is AWFUL). However, it annoys me that she never cares what Beck does. he literally kisses another girl in the first episode and he gets mad at her instead of him?? Cat: great comic relief, but not enough character depth to place her in superior tier.
Beck: outside of young little closeted gay me having a crush on him, he doesn’t really do anything. Also I remember when I watched the show as a kid, I always thought Jade was crazy, but OML I did not realize how much of a flirt Beck is.
Andre: My mans Andre STAYS getting shit on by Tori. Every time she has a problem she’s like “Andre write me a song and I’ll sing it” and that somehow resolves the issue. Like my man is pulling songs out of his ass EPISODE AFTER EPISODE to let Tori sing and he gets ZERO credit. He better be getting some action from her on the side or SOMETHING or else he’s honestly just pathetic.
Tori: Garbage, trash, utterly useless. Unfortunately the iconicness of Trina is not a trait that runs in the family. For the life of me I can not think of why they would make her the main character, & whoever made that decision needs to be fired ASAP - 6 hours ago